What Is Neurodivergent Masking?

I'm autistic and masking has been a daily experience throughout my life.

Masking is presenting a socially and behaviorally acceptable facade to the world to "appear normal"; standards governed by neurotypical people.

Masking behaviours are rooted in the need for humans to have community, a sense of belonging and love. When people are perceived to be different from the defined "normal", rejection and ostracism are likely consequences.

We have learnt that to fit in, suppression of needs and truth are a must; this is an uphill war to unlearn. As a result, the core human need of being connected may be denied if "abnormality" is detected, which would be disastrous.

My brain having a different operating system to neurotypical people in a world not autistic-friendly inherently means I start at a disadvantage.

Intermission

Masking can be different for neurodivergent people, however, my experience is listed below (not exhaustive).

• Saying 'yes' or 'ok' to requests or asks, despite wanting to say 'no'.

• Staying silent with my needs to avoid explaining myself to people.

• Staying in sensory overwhelming environments or situations when with others, despite overstimulation.

• Not asking for breaks when I need them.

• Minimising stimming (e.g., fidgeting, standing up from my seat frequently).

• In social contexts, consciously controlling eye contact to avoid being seen as rude. For context, I naturally don't look at people's faces often when speaking.

• Avoiding perception of being non-verbal when overwhelmed (e.g., talking when I have low social energy).

• Answering 'I don't know' to something if I have insufficient time to process information and form a response.

In my experience, consequences of masking include:

• Reinforced damaging beliefs about how I "should function" as a person to be "normal".

• Decreased energy to expend on living life outside of meeting basic human needs.

• Heightened nervous system for prolonged periods and feeling threatened.

• Increased vulnerability to meltdowns.

• Lowered tolerance to stressors and ability to manage it.

• Internally brewing resentment and anger.

• Decreased ability to filter and process sensory information from the environment.

Humans are diverse, and it's important that diversity in brain systems are acknowledged and accounted for. We're not broken, just misunderstood.