Reflections on 2024
This year has not only been rich and meaningful, but the version of me that exists feels unreal to me; it's been difficult for me to fathom. Unreal has been a repeated descriptor for end of year reflections as I surprise myself in more ways than one. For 2024, the theme is ‘lost and found’.
Seven months ago, I avoided swimming and water activities like the plague, coupled with a fear of drowning. Now, I've graduated to intermediate level swimming lessons, having developed foundational skills. Most importantly, I no longer fight existing in water, but work together with it, realising that I was my own enemy the entire time.
During school years, I loathed drama classes, acting and performing. Since performing in a theatre show earlier this year, it's opened life-changing doors for me. Not only have I been working with a professional musician and academic to write my own song about trans experiences, I've been invited to go overseas to assist in running songwriting workshops as part of arts-based research. I never saw this coming.
“You'll miss 100% of the chances you don’t take”. I applied to an LGBTIQA+ storytelling and public speaking program on a whim, hours before the deadline, not thinking much of it. Where it's led me is connecting with more queer communities, honing my skills and craft (including self-care and community care), being in a speakers directory and the opportunity to tell my story in front of a live audience at a showcase.
Earlier this year, I felt lost regarding career direction, unsure of which direction to travel since clinical psychology faded into my rearview mirror. While I don't have concrete plans, I've begun exploring the education field, enrolling in studies and digging deeper into public pedagogy. Unknowingly, through my digital content creation and various projects/initiatives I've participated in throughout the past six years, I've been teaching, just not in a classroom setting.
I wrote my first ever psychological horror story (The Grinning Stitcher) and have a second story in the works. The process of learning creative storytelling, as opposed to non-fiction autobiography writing has been one of joy and challenge, but simultaneously rewarding.
It is now clear to me that my relationships with different life experiences, activities, people and myself can change overtime given the current version of me in existence. I no longer hyperfocus on a specific path, but instead, open doors and explore all of what truly living has to offer, even if in the moment, I don't have everything figured out with perfect clarity. Not that I need to anyway. Trying to have the future in my grasp only strips away what exists before me in the present.
I'm excited for both planned and unplanned experiences that 2025 has to bring. Here's to more blooming and growth. 🤟