Lacking Career Clarity In Adulthood

I turn twenty-seven this year, and while I've had many experiences, I still feel lost in life. There is pressure for adults to "have everything figured out with 100% certainty" when all we've known is the educational system, without truly knowing ourselves.

Ingrained shame of automatically being a failure arises as if a life-or-death deadline looms.

The education system didn't teach me about self-discovery, caring for my own health or personal growth, only the trauma of grades being an indicator of success or failure.

It was a checkbox of ingredients irrelevant to real-life (unless one pursues a career in such subjects), with poisonous and unrealistic ideals mixed with shame and fear.

These ingrained beliefs have carried into adulthood, and expanded its scope beyond education contexts.

Intermission

Since 2014, the year I first studied psychology in high school, I'd tunnel visioned on becoming a clinical psychologist due to my own lived experiences of mental ill-health and passion for the field.

I then proceeded to study four years of psychology at university, and after this, worked in mental health while attempting to be accepted into a postgraduate Masters Of Clinical Psychology course.

While I was successful in obtaining interviews from a few universities, I ultimately did not end up receiving an offer.

At the time, I felt very discouraged and defeated, until realising it was a blessing in disguise. I'd stopped applying since. This is what's changed.

The predominant reason for discontinuing my original course of action is because of my ASD diagnosis in 2023, and realising the long-term unsuitability of such a career.

Being autistic means my brain is wired differently, with a different operating system to neurotypical people. Personally, the social and emotional elements of the role quickly overwhelms me.

Additionally, I'd had the desire to enlist in the military for eight years during psychology studies.

After this, I thought paramedicine was my calling as it's very hands-on work in the healthcare sector, combined with personal interest in medical care. I received an offer from a university, however, declined it.

Both directions I discontinued due to lacking specific reasons as to why to pursue, and long-term unsuitability.

My passion remains in the mental health space, and unsure of what career is entailed for me, I'm exploring using existing knowledge about myself and what has failed in the past.

My eighteen-year-old self would be surprised at how he's changed direction with age, and would look in awe as the unforeseen version of him continues learning, divorced from society's timeline pressures.