Convoluted Brain Mess - Poem

A beautiful colour of grey

Founded in the clouds of a rainbow

Mushed but still art

Formed in a messed up way

But still beautiful nonetheless

Head is a mess

But it's my mess of organised chaos

The things in place now

The reality of feelings

Thrown in my mind like tumble drying

Rinsing my tears dry

Tears that refuse to cry

I refuse to deny these feelings

Doing so crumbles my already existing fragility

I don't feel okay

But I am okay

At the right place at the right time

This is meant to be

Anger brews within

As I neglect myself

My nerves dysregulated

As I continue the path of self-destruction

Living to appease others

At the expense of myself

For guilt at not being responsible

For my non-existent responsibilities

Absolutely mind games

And for what exactly?

The war I'm fighting

The death grips of others acceptance

With the worn mask

Rooted in self-neglect

And shadows of rejection cuffs